Oh The Irony Of It All
by Nataku3
Summary: What happens after the wars and when the Gundam Pilots are on an island in the Pacific ocean and three women show up looking for a warhead and bringing with them the arch enemy


On an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean an ex-Gundam station seems to be deserted but then there is movement in the upper chamber where you see five shadows of the Gundam pilots. They all are distracted reading or working until the alarm goes off that there are intruders on the island. They use the telescope to skim the island where they see a shiny black speed boatspeedboat on the west sideWest Side of the island. As the boys look around where the speed boatspeedboat is parked they see three beautiful women. The guys then decide to split up to see if they can cut them off in the middle of the island. But the girls are also splitlingsplitting up to look for the base. "Nice place to take a trip," says Dameo Raven. Dameo is known as the worldsworld's deadliest woman with a dagger. "Hell yes it is," says Arashi. Arashi is known as the worldsworld's deadliest woman with a sword. " Come on you guys this isntisn't a holiday in France," says Midnight Starr the more serious of the three. She is known as the worldsworld's deadliest woman with a gun. "We actually have work to do so I may never say this again but can we go work now," she says swinging her hair over her shoulder. "Damn whatswhat's up her ass?" asks Dameo. "She's right Dameo we do have a job to do. So on that happy note you go that way. Midnight go that way and please for God'' sake ddon't get caught and don't screw up." Says Arashi as she heads towards the middle of the island and towards the base camp.  
  
While this is going on our boys are getting ready to roll just then Wufei walks in. "They are headed this way we need to hurry," he says assays as he jumps down into the brush and heads out to meet the black haired, blue eyed woman headed his way. "Wufei where are you going?" yells Duo after him. " To catch a bird," Wufei yells back. "Well ok then maybe we should go after the other two Heero." Duo says while he is lacing up his boots. "you'reYou're right we cant a bunch of chicks roamin' around here," said Heero as he jumps down from the hanger. "Let's roll," Says Duo throwqingthrowing on his shades.  
  
After a few moments of running Wufei spots Arashi. "Lets play a little cat and mouse," says Wufei as he leepsleaps out and knocks Arashi out. While he looks at her lying unconsiousunconscious he starts to laugh. He then picks her up and slings her over his shoulder and carries her back to the base and ties her to a chair when Trowa and Quatre walk in Arashi has just come to. "What the hell let me out of here!" Arashi screams at Wufei. "Why what are you doing here?" asks Wufei in a very charming and daring voice. \"You really want to know?" asks Arashi in a very sneeky voice. "Yes I do want to know," said Wufei. Fine,. First I am going to kick all of your asses. You,' she said nodding to Wufei," are gonna help me out of my chair then imI'm gonna leap frogleapfrog over you and break your nose and then knock you oputout," she said nodding to Trowa and Quatre. " Then I am goonnagonna moonwalk out of here and I will do all of this with my hands tied behiindbehind my back." "Well come on then lets go," says Wufei jumping off the table. Then Arashi jumps up turns around backwards and slams Wufei into the wall. She then hops and leapfrogs over Trowa. She aims for Quatre's nose but misses and him and Trowa out. "Buddha on Lotus,' she says kneeling on one knee. She then gets up and moonwalks out of the room.  
  
While all of the fighting was going on Duo and Dameo met up and were headed toward the base hand and hand. "So what are you girls doing here since you obviously aren't on vacation." Asks Duo in his you know you want me voice. "We were sent here to get a book and a nuclear warhead." Says Dameo chuckling at Duo's comment. "What's so important about the book I mean there has to be another copy of it right?" asks Duo slightly amused that three hot chicks were looking for a book, the nuclear warhead he could understand but a book come on. "This book has records of every major city that has nuclear weapons on site." Says Dameo. "Oh well that's a good reason," says Duo, "but why look here I mean we are all just a bunch of beer drinking, ranting about justice, homosexual men," says Duo shrugging. "Well that's for me to know and you to find out," says Dameo in a sneaky voice. They we just about to kiss when they heard a scream coming from Mid night and a one Wufei Chang yelling about a woman knocking him out. "Midnight what's up?" asks Dameo. "That freak is stalking me," Midnight says pointing in Heero's Direction. "I was not," says Heero coming up behind Midnight, "I was just doing what I set out to do." "Well we will take care of this later we better find out what Mr. Justice is ranting and raving about," sighs Duo. They walk into the base and go up to Wufei and try and talk to him and make sense of what he is saying but yet he keeps going on and on about a woman beating him. "Her. she knocked me out and then she ewwwwww I am gonna kill her," Yells Wufei. "What are you ranting about Wufei?" asks Duo slightly annoyed. "A weak woman knocked me out and then as I came to I saw her moon-walking out of the room," says Wufei angrily. "Oh that must be Arashi only she can moonwalk out of anywhere," says Dameo rolling her eyes. "That would be me,' says Arashi walking into the room. "You I should kill you after what you did," Wufei screams. "Kill me huh? Well if you want to please feel free to take a whack at it," says Arashi calmly. "Let's not get into this please," says Heero pushing Arashi and Wufei away from each other. "I'll take care of you later," says Wufei as he storms out of the room.  
  
After that nose to nose between Arashi and Wufei, Duo and Dameo head for the hanger where they are talking. Quatre then walks in and starts to examine Dameo's bare feet. "Hey you have beautiful feet. Can I paint your toenails?" asks Quatre in a very girly voice. Duo looks at Quatre very strangely. "What in the hell are you doing Quatre?" asks Heero loudly. "Asking this woman if I could paint her toenails. Says Quatre as Trowa walks in. "Quatre are you sick do you have a fever?" Trowa asks feeling Quatre's head after hearing the whole painting of the toenails comment. "I am ok," says Quatre with a smile. Then they all hear the clink of swords. "Oh no Wufei and Arashi are going at it," says Heero running towards the sounds. "I could have swore." Duo starts to say. "Heero broke up that little fight about two hours ago." Finishes Dameo. "Right," says Duo. So they all run into the chamber where Arashi and Wufei were sword fighting. "You weak woman you cant beat me!!" says Wufei. "Hey no screaming in the presence of ladies,' says Quatre pulling Wufei off while Arashi knocks the sword out of his hand. " And you," Quatre says turning to Arashi, " it is very improper for a woman to sword fight especially with a man." "Hey Quatre I hate to burst your bubble but Arashi might as well be a man that girl is sick," Midnight pipes up for the first time since she was screaming. "Hey and what about you Midnight," says Heero with his big beautiful eyes you could just fall into. "Well I am demented but not as sick as her," she says smiling at him and pointing to Arashi's direction. "Maybe you guys should have dinner together Suggests Dameo. "Sounds like a plan to me are you game Dameo," Asks Duo. "Yes, I am game but I have to change,' says Dameo blushing. "Ok I will meet you in an hour." Says Duo "Same goes for me Midnight I will meet you in an hour." Says Heero. At that moment when Hero smiled at her Midnight became a backwards M and M it melts in your hand and not in your mouth. "Ok Heero see you then," Midnight says in a dream like state.  
  
"Oh gawd he is so sexy," Midnight says as she and Dameo were walking back to the boat. "Oh yes he is," says Dameo, " Hey Arashi what are you going to do tonight. 'Probably just kick back and work on my sword back hand or read my book or take the boat for a spin," says Arashi while throwing Dameo's dagger at a target on the door. "Why don't you hang out with us tonight I mean you will have a great time,' suggests Midnight. " No thanks I will just hang here or maybe I will go pick a fight with Wufei." Says Arashi.  
  
While the girls are changing the guys are back at the base giving Wufei grief about not asking Arashi to dinner. " Wufei all we are saying is we don't understand why you didn't ask her to dinner she is a nice girl and well you can fight and it is worth the time.' Says Heero while he was brushing his hair. " Because I will never look at another woman the same way I looked at my Wife." Says Wufei with a frown on his face. "Wufei you lost her nearly five years ago it is time to move on. You want another Mrs. Wufei Chang to cuddle and love and hold and all of that stuff again don't you," Says Duo examining himself in the mirror. " No, no one could replace her especially someone like Arashi. I was looking her up on the computer and I found she grew up in a temple with her grandfather learning kickboxing, swordfighting, and knive throwing" ' That is pretty impressive not to mention she all the rest of those girls are smokin" says Duo and Heero together, while they wet their fingers, put them up, and pulled them away like they hit a hot stove. "Ouch," says Heero Jokingly. "Well we better hit it Heero we don't want to be late." Says Duo while he was giving his hair one more Elvis Comb.  
  
So Duo and Heero headed out to the boat while Wufei is having an argument with himself about losing to a weak woman. Trowa and Quatre then walk in and about fall down in hysterical laughter when they see Wufei standing on the table screaming how much he hated Arashi for beating him. He was the greatest and no woman could beat him ever again. " Wufei is ranting and raving all you ever do?" asks Quatre while he was looking in the mirror and fixing his hair. " Yes it is all I ever do. It was unjust what that woman did today!!!!!!" "Ok then Wufei or should I say Justice League know it all" Says Trowa with a little giggle. " Don't insult him he has the hots for Wonder Woman hun," says Quatre giving Trowa a little push. " I don't have the hots for anyone Quatre!!!!!!!" yells Wufei. "Ok whatever you say daddy-o," says Quatre trying out a new hairstyle. "Wufei did you just ask her to dinner?" asks Trowa. "Because I am appalled that she beat me at anything." Says Wufei throwing his hands in the air like he was planning on shooting a bird out of the air. "Wufei you really need to chill out I mean come on go to the boat and ask her to dinner you know you want to," says Trowa with a sneaky smile. "Yes Wufei come on if you don't ask her yourself I am going to ask her for you." Says Quatre. "Fine I will ask her to have dinner with me will that make the both of you happy?" asks Wufei very annoyed at the fact that he was surrendering to a girly man and he bowed to them being smart ass like they were Gods or something." I will ask her when she comes back here." " Well here is your chance here she comes,' says Trowa as they all see Arashi stride in with pool stick and throwing knives in hand. Wufei runs down to see where she was headed. "Hey cryptic Sword girl where are you going?" Wufei asks in a deep voice. " To play pool and throw knives at your head." Said Arashi as she flipped her hair and got him in the face. " Well instead why don't you come and have dinner with me and everyone else." Suggests Wufei. " Why not,' replies Arashi as she rolls her eyes. " Okay I will meet you in an hour," Says Wufei walking off. " Maybe maybe not," says Arashi raising one of her eyebrows.  
  
With the wheels turning in her head Arashi changed into something only a total tomboy would wear. Wufei walks up to the boat in a black suit and he is carrying flowers. He knocks on the door to below but there is no answer. SO after a few moments he goes down below to find Arashi in a heap, a black Englishman's hat and a note next to her. The note reads: "Hello Kitty Cats Glad to see you girls made it to the island. Sorry about your friend she was snooping around. Hope you girls have caught on that these dimwits don't have what you are looking for. You need to watch your backs and the water a storm is coming.  
  
Much Love  
  
Dr. Nimbostratus." Wufei looks up from the letter with flames in his eyes. " Dimwits huh well I'll show him. Who in the hell is Dr. Nimbostratus anyway? Maybe I should take it to Trowa and I better bring her along even though I don't like her because she can beat me but that's beside the point." Wufei says as he shoves the letter in his pocket and picks Arashi up and slings her over his shoulder yet again.  
  
While all of this is going on Heero and Midnight are in the hanger having dinner, "So Midnight tell me about yourself." Says Heero as he looks deeply into her beautiful tiger looking eyes. "I was born and raised in Bosnia with my Aunt and Uncle because my parents like Arashi's parents died when I was very young. They taught me how to hunt and shoot a gun and such." Says Midnight as she is drinking her wine. " And tell me about yourself," says Midnight getting a little bit closer to Heero with a sigh.  
  
" Well I am from. I don't really know where I am from but I was raised in Cuba with a foster family with the nuclear weapons, excellent cigars, and beautiful women." Says Heero.  
  
" Sounds like a nice place to go and catch some sun and a man or two." Says Midnight with a chuckle and brushing against Heero's arm. They were just about to kiss when Wufei comes bursting in still holding Arashi on his shoulder. Midnight looks down and then starts to go crazy and she jumps down from the hanger and starts to swing at Wufei but she misses and falls, ripping her beautiful red dress with bead embroidery.  
  
Then after her comes Heero all fists but first he runs over to Midnight. " You bastard you hit her," shouts Heero turning red. ' No I didn't she jumped down and lost her footing so she feel." Said Wufei calmly a little to calm for Heero's liking. " No you hit her," yells Heero again. " No he didn't hit me I just fell is all I'm okay." Says Midnight standing up. " Are you sure sweetie," Heero says rushing over to her and picking her up like they were married. " Yes I'm fine." Says Midnight before they kiss passionately. " Maybe I . I mean we should leave you two alone.' Wufei says finally remembering in all the excitement a woman was on his shoulder. Wufei walks off and heads for the main chamber where he finds Trowa and Quatre getting ready to screw each other's brains out. " For fucks sake!!!!!!!!" Wufei yells when he walks in and see Trowa tieing Quatre to a chair bare- ass naked. " What did I tie him up wrong? Asks Trowa as he walks over to Wufei who is still carrying Arashi who is finally coming to. " Forget it I was here to have you analyze this because I can't do it. I honestly don't think she will be any help." Wufei says nodding toward Arashi. " Let me see it. Hold on a few minutes hun I have to do something." Trowa says talking to Quatre but looking at Wufei. Trowa reads the letter and then starts to ponder. "Well what do you think?" asks Wufei "He is a really sick guy. But my question is how did he get on the island without the alarm going off. He is a scientist and a very good one at that. Dr. Nimbostratus. He is a weather freak his last name is a type of cloud and he mentions storms." Says Trowa out of breathe." Hey Arashi is coming to." He says. Arashi comes to and sees Quatre tied to a chair in the nude and starts to scream. " Whoa chill out there girl," says Trowa. " Chill out how I can I chill out. Would you chill out if you were knocked out and woke up to find a homosexual tied to a chair in the nude.!!!!!!!!!" Arashi screams at Trowa. " She has a very good point there buddy," says Wufei smiling at her way of thinking and how pretty she was when she was mad. He then wanted to kick himself for thinking that. " I am so outta here," says Arashi as she runs off back to the boat planning to leave.  
  
Meanwhile back at the hanger Midnight and Heero picked up where they left off a couple times. Duo and Dameo walk in on them and they we all shocked because Dameo didn't expect Midnight go that far with Heero. Midnight also thought the same about Dameo and Duo but boy were they wrong. " Hey guys its getting late and well Arashi is alone so we better go," says Dameo. Duo and Heero walk the girls out to the boat and say goodnight. Back on the boat they found Arashi throwing knives at the door. " Arashi what's wrong you look pissed," says Dameo putting a hand on Arashi's shoulder. " I was knocked out and carried by Wufei to the base yet again and I woke up to find Quatre tied naked to a chair." Arashi says. " Well I must say if I was in that situation I would be pissed too." Says Midnight chuckling. "There's nothing funny about it Midnight." Says Arashi very irritated as she punches her. "Ok its not funny," says Dameo pushing Arashi away. So how was your night," Arashi asks. " It was great until got my dress ripped and Dameo showed up," says Midnight smiling. " And yours Dameo?" inquires Arashi. " It was very intresting and romantic and very nice," says Dameo on dreamily. "Glad to hear you both had a good time but I didn't," says Arashi. " Well what happened? | " Asks Dameo taking off her shoes. " Well I came to the boat got knocked out and taken to see a naked homo any questions?" Says Arashi. " Oh yeah and we got a note and that is pretty much it." Says Arashi throwing the note on the table. Dameo picks it up and reads it quickly. " Well what are we going to do?' she asks handing the note to Midnight. " I don't know but whatever we do we have to do it quickly " says Arashi eyeing the note lying on the table.  
END CHAPTER 1 


End file.
